January 4th, 1995
Last night we had a really great bible study. We have been reading a book called “Born For Battle” and it led to a pretty good discussion. After vacation we all realized how different being a Christian makes you. Those who don’t know God never understand what you are about. The world is conformed to believing success is going to college and getting a job that pays lots of money. What about serving God? Being rich is not success in God’s eyes. We are to seek his kingdom first in our lives. When you are on God’s path you find happiness. But there is a big difference between serving God because you feel you need to, and serving Him out of love.
I feel bad because of the attitude I sometimes get. Look at all the things some Christians have endured for the Lord and kept such a great attitude. We should rejoice in our suffering. Sometimes I think we stop thinking about how real God is. We would all be different people if He were with us right here and now. What if Jesus was living in my house and went everywhere with me? I would have a completely different attitude. But what’s amazing is that He really is with us all the time! Why aren’t we acting like it? Why must we see him next to us in the flesh in order to change our tune?
We all need more solid realization of how real He is in our lives. But not only must we think of what we do, but if Jesus stood before you in the flesh, could you voice your every thought to him? He knows our every thought. We aren’t hiding anything from Him. This alone makes me ashamed.
I got a card from Rebecca in the mail today. She is five months pregnant. I can’t imagine where I would be if it weren’t for God. I don’t want to imagine. I really want God’s will in my life. Today has been a good day for me spiritually and I am very thankful for that. I have been thinking a lot about what God wants for me. I know my being here is on the right path.
January 5th, 1995
Darwin’s theories on evolution have definitely given Satan a useful tool. The world is certainly thinking on a scientific rather than spiritual level. Evolution has put many doubts into people’s minds because it has more scientific backing than the idea of an all-powerful God. But luckily for us Christians, we know that God is not of this world. God has chosen those He wants to fight this present time’s battle. I have spent a lot of time thinking lately. I have to remember that there is nothing before God. I must be willing to serve Him no matter what the cost. He must be in everything I say and do.
Proof that you don’t need God to change hearts and minds. These entries were pulled from the journal I kept as a missionary. Embarrassing but true. I can’t believe I didn’t burn the evidence a decade ago. But that stubborn Christian who is too far gone to ever respond to reason? Sometimes they do respond. So let’s keep telling our stories and sharing our view of the world. Because sometimes when we least expect it, people change.